What if you leave the priesthood?

Dear friends in Christ,

This is a difficult question to write about, because some of us may know men who were priests who ended up leaving and getting married. I personally know no less than six priests who ended up leaving active ministry to get married, and it is hard to think about. Yet it does happen.

First, seminary life is designed to help a young man discern their vocation. If they are truly called to be a priest, then the seminary will help confirm that for them. If they are called to married life, then after a period of discernment they should leave. Men who leave the priesthood do one of two things (or both) while in seminary that results in them leaving.

The first is that instead of availing themselves of what the seminary has to offer, including daily Mass, Holy Hour, and periods of intense prayer, some men try to skim by, doing the bare minimum. They may not see a problem with missing Mass, or not doing their times of prayer every day. They may use the excuse that they are too busy. But really, the spiritual life should be primary in the life of a seminarian, and the habits a seminarian learns goes with him as a priest. So if he had the habit of missing prayer often while in seminary, when he becomes a priest he will also find himself missing the important times of prayer. Prayer for a priest is absolutely essential. If the priest doesn't pray, he will not stand a chance. Prayer is the fundamental corner stone of the life of a priest, and if isn't there, the rest of him will crumble. It is in periods of prayer that a man encounters God, and the man discerns God's will. If that conversation isn't happening, then the discernment isn't happening.

The second thing they try to do is that they view the seminary as a thing to conquer, and they try to beat the system. These are called submariners, since they go under the water and hide for long periods of time. They have formation issues that they need to work on, but instead of working on them, they hide them from everybody else, and they don't get fixed. Then, when the priest is outside of the seminary, the issues they need to work on get exasperated by the business of the priest, and the issues that they should have worked on come out glaring. This is especially the case of the priest doesn't pray. His faults and failings become an exponential problem without a spiritual base.

If someone leaves the priesthood, it is always a sad case. We must pray ernestly for the man, and we must pray that he returns to active ministry. If he gets married, we must then ernestly pray for the salvation of his soul. I don't know of any saints who left the priesthood and got married. But if a man honestly avails himself to everything the seminary offers and dives headfirst into formation and discernment, then he shouldn't have this problem, as long as he keeps up the prayer.

I hope this answers the question adequately. May you remain close to the Sacred Heart of Jesus through the Immaculate Heart of Mary.